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Smoke Signals

by Megan Betley

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1.
My chest gets tight, losing the fight between my head and what is right. Man of my word and boy does it burn. A piece thats gone and won't return. I wanted someone, I wanted someone so bad it drove me wild. Now I dont want no one, I dont want no one to know what I hold inside. I got a problem, it drives me to my knees. I got a problem, I got so many that I can't even speak. Stumble and I stutter then I crawl back to the gutter. Bottle up every problem then I drink it to the bottom. I'm no angel, I'm no saint - the good Lord knows I ain't. I got a bit of the devil in my veins. Mind is a maze, losing the chase to all the things I can't erase. Laid in my bed, tied your noose round my head & then you left my body for dead. I dont know why I let you come back every night. Oh, I know why - it's the pain that I like. Stumble and I stutter then I crawl back to the gutter. Bottle up every problem then I drink it to the bottom. I'm no angel, I'm no saint - the good Lord knows I ain't. I got a bit of the devil in my veins.
2.
Got skeletons in your closet, moving, restless. Got a flask inside my pocket when I need it, I can feel it. The pressure starts to build and I can't breathe, I can't escape. The wind on my back and all my bones they start to break. Your love was always fleeting, we were bleeding it out. But, it doesn't hurt me like you think that it does. No - it burns me worse. All I remember - your silly temper, secrets & cigarettes. Now who's the liar? This is your fire but you never take the blame for all the flames. Watch me choke on all the smoke & every word we never spoke. I let them singe me, I burn your memory. Time to let this go - let you go. Lovestruck is forgotten, all my tears have turned rotten. Well I hear you've got a new love, everything you dreamed of. It doesn't hurt me like you think that it does - No, it burns me worse. All I remember - your silly temper, secrets & cigarettes. Now who's the liar? This is your fire but you never take the blame for all the flames. Watch me choke on all the smoke & every word we never spoke. I let them singe me, I burn your memory. Time to let this go - let you go. Silly me to let you in - now you're forever on my skin. My mistake to let you in - now you will be my reckoning. It doesn't hurt me like you think it does... No, it burns me worse. All I remember - your silly temper, secrets & cigarettes. Now who's the liar? This is your fire but you never take the blame for all the flames. Watch me choke on all the smoke & every word we never spoke. I let them singe me, I burn your memory. Time to let this go; burn your memory.
3.
Seven; seven days its been since I heard from you...struggling. Lying, silent, lonely in my bed. Four, five, six; how can I fix this mess I made, I made of this? I take the blame, I take - I give. Three to two; my head - my heart go toe to toe & tear apart all I know. It only leaves me scarred. And oh I, oh I, oh I sit and all I, all I can admit is how I, how I, how I miss your touch. And oh I, oh I, oh I sit and all I, all I can admit is how I, how I, how I miss you bad. Crawl back in my head. Crawl back in my bed. One night, one fights all it takes to take us, change us & replace our happiness with an empty space. My heavy heart I cut its strings, under the weight it always sinks. So keep away I'll only bring you down. And oh I, oh I, oh I sit and all I, all I can admit is how I, how I, how I miss your touch. And oh I, oh I, oh I sit and all I, all I can admit is how I, how I, how I miss you bad. Crawl back in my head. Crawl back in my bed. So quiet now you're gone...so lonely now you're gone. I'm alone with my thoughts.
4.
I swore I'd never fall; I'd never feel it at all. Tied knots on my heart strings. Laid lonely in my bed, replaying in my head - what went wrong with everything. You put the stars back in my sky. You gave me wings and helped me fly. What do I do without you? What do I do without you? I just go back, back - to howling at the moon. I can't shake the ache - your voice replays for days. Crash in my mind like waves. Oh but hollow suits me well - I kiss & never tell. I always want you back. You put the stars back in my sky. You put the light back in my eyes. What do I do without you? What do I do without you? I just go back to howling at the moon. I just go back, back...to howling at the moon.
5.
2 AM 03:07
Hello, it's been a minute. I hope you're doing fine. I know I shouldnt ask you...but have I crossed your mind? Are you working? Hows your family? Are you happier without me? I'd like to see you if you've got the time... Oh I shouldn't have called...no I shouldn't have called. Cause I know I shouldn't think about you anymore. Oh, I have trouble letting go. But I'll dot my I's and cross my T's, if you promise not to forget me, please. Can you refresh my memory? Why did it have to end? I know I shouldn't ask you, but you were my closest friend. And I'm not okay, I go out every night. Always looking for trouble, I will never be alright. Oh I shouldn't have called...no I shouldn't have called. Cause I know I shouldn't think about you anymore. Oh, I have trouble letting go. But I'll dot my I's and cross my T's, if you promise not to forget me, please. Sometimes I go to places we've been, to try to feel like us again. Sometimes I go to places we've been, remember what it's like again. Sometimes I go to places we've been, to try to feel alive again. Cause I know I shouldn't think about you anymore. Oh, I have trouble letting go. But I'll dot my I's and cross my T's, if you promise not to forget me, please.
6.
Something strange comes over me - it goes in waves. I feel it when you get so close. Can't stop it when it's taking hold, taking hold. I get shivers up and down my spine. A feeling that I can't deny. Will I speak? Oh no, I'm just too shy. I've been so cold, aching in my soul. This could be the start of something good, of something right - Take me home tonight. So we spend all night shooting like the stars - Talking about the future & who we are. Tripping over words, sliding in your eyes. Before you know it, I'm wishing you were mine. And I'm falling, baby I'm falling - Letting down my guard, breaking all my rules. Letting out my pain, falling into you. I've been so cold, aching in my soul. This could be the start of something good, of something right - Take me home tonight.

credits

released August 22, 2016

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Megan Betley Los Angeles, California

Megan began songwriting & guitar as a teen, becoming involved in bands & releasing solo EPs. In 2014, she was a performer on MTV singing show Copycat. She released debut full length album Shake the Dust (2015), receiving acclaim for rock ballad Deals with the Devil. In 2016, Megan released music video Alone With My Thoughts from EP Smoke Signals. Her latest album From the Ashes drops in 2020. ... more

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